•I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, tomorrow is not looking good either.
•I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as go flying by.
•Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you to get along without it.
•Accept that some days you are the pigeon some days the statue.
•Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't need him again.
•I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
•Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
•On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
•I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
•Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
•Never argue with idiots. They drag you down their level, then beat you with experience.
•A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the ***.
•Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
•After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
•The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
•You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
•If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
•When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
•Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
•Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
•Accept that some days you are the pigeon some days the statue.
•Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't need him again.
•I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
•Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
•On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
•I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
•Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
•Never argue with idiots. They drag you down their level, then beat you with experience.
•A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the ***.
•Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
•After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
•The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
•You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
•If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
•When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
•Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
•Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
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